Friday, December 16, 2005

Hey, Claus: Part 3 - Christmas Cards

Ok, Claus, so here I am (((again!))), getting ready dive head first into the annual pile of self-addressed, self-moistened, self-stamped, self-fucking-aknowledged Christmas cards splayed out in front of me, and I can't help but wonder why in the fucking world, year after year I keep sending out falsly sentimental, mass produced, pre-packaged notes of joy, only to receive one, maybe two cards from the yearly regulars that make our list.
Is this what the spirit of Christmas has amounted to? Gimme, gimme, fuck you very much? Where's mine, oh, and fuck yours?
I know, I know... you're probably saying "Well, fucker, isn't that what you just said?"
No! Well... yes, technically. But No!
What I am saying is that everyone seems to be so focused on their own lives that they swiftly forget the everyday little people who matter the other three hundred and thirty-four days surrounding Thanksgiving and Christmas. You know who I'm talking about. The people who pull you through a tough time in your life or the people who will always call at just the right moment and cheer you up even if momentarily. The people who help you move the ton or so of otherwise trashable shit you have amassed or the people who raise a hammer to help you fix something around the house. The little people. The people who matter most in your life. Remember them?
I wonder how the sendee would feel if they stopped receiving cards altogether? Would they even notice? Would they even care? Would they silently get pissed at the one time sender for forgetting them at such a fan-fucking-tastic time of the year? Or would they get off their dead arse, spend a whopping $5.99 at the local drugstore, another $7.40 on stamps, and an hour or two of their priceless time signing cards and addressing envelopes just to spite the one time sender? Better still, how would they feel if they were to receive a manilla envelope filled with shredded Christmas cards and picture of the sender holding theirs aflame, middle finger flying, and a smile on your face?
Now there's a merry mother-fucking thought!


Blogger Lisa said...

Aw, crap...I haven't done my Christmas cards, yet!!!

Fuckity fuck.

10:40 AM  
Blogger Theresa said...

Im with you.

10:45 AM  
Anonymous D`Anerah[H] said...

Christmas Cards?

Bah Humbug!

9:06 PM  

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