Saturday, December 31, 2005

My Last Words For 2005

I'm really fucking tired right now.
If it weren't for my daughter wanting to see the celebratory fireworks at midnight, I would already be in bed, caring little about the absent mindedness of various pyrotechnics prematurely sounding off around the neighborhood. Yeah! Another year gone by! Hooray! 2005 is (nearly) outta here like... well, like last year (((laughing))).
As you may have read earlier in today's original post, I have decided to really focus on turning my life around. I've grown tired of being my own oppressor by not completing projects or pushing forward in my writing career. I've grown tired of limiting myself because of anxiety founded rationale. I've grown tired of being afraid of success and failure. And I've grown tired of not being the best person I can be.
Although I have had my fair share of outside influences, I have concluded that I am the central system that decides whether or not to allow said influences to dictate the many outcomes in my life. Only I have the power to allow said influences to impact how I live, and only I can renovate my way of thinking to beter suit my needs. That said... there will be some pink slips handed out over the course of the next few weeks. These will serve as walking papers for folks who have been or become a burden in my life. I will provide explanations for these things, of course, but I don't intend to sway my decision once it has been made. I need to grow, and right now I am not. I am stagnant. I am sterile. I am lifeless.
That said... I just checked on my daughter and she is down for the count. I turned her television on so she could hear the Blues Traveler play for the next six minutes, and then, with a little luck, maybe she will wake long enough to see the bombastic fireworks display. I'm not holding my breath though.
I'm gonna close folks. It's time to grab some shut eye. See you tomorrow.
God bless and be safe.

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