Thursday, April 06, 2006

Catching up on some blog reading this evening, I stopped by a friend's site to find a picture of a grave marker heading up the latest entry and it got me to thinking: My grandfather has been dead for twenty-two years, and in that time - aside from the funeral - I can only remember having been to his gravesite just once.
Why?
That's a good question. One for which I have many viable answers.
I think it has a lot to with the fact that I never wanted to attend his funeral. It's not how I wanted to remember him. But not attending was not an option. So I went, and I vividly remember the funeral, and for the longest time I resented my mother for forcing me to do so.
I think it has a lot to with my belief in that our loved one's are always with us in our hearts and minds.
I don't believe that routinely revisiting one's final resting place is essential in keeping their spirit alive inside us.
I believe that they are always alive so long as we choose to keep them that way.
But it was in reading my friend's latest post and seeing this particular picture that made me realize it's time to make the trip to California to visit with him once again. With my son's approval, I want to take him with me and would like to do so while we are off on our manly jaunt to the Bay Area. There's something about him being there with me that weighs heavy on my heart - almost as if I am introducing the two for the first time.

2 Comments:

Blogger the depressed nurse said...

Not comparing you "introducing" your son and grandfather, but after I had AB, I took her up to Greg's grave as a way of "introducing" them. It was a way of me letting go and moving forward as an adult and mother.

I've never been one to hover over a gravesite either. I don't believe they are "in there" anyway, but it's just a weird comfort that I can know that's where his body is at. And that brings me some sort of comfort. Weird and creepy I know.

I think that sounds like a great idea for you and your son to do on the way up CA. Every grandchild should visit their grandparents grave in my opinion. It's a way of them learning who they came from and what made them who they are.

6:54 AM  
Blogger the depressed nurse said...

Sic, I can't see the words at the beginning of this post. They have run into the white part.

8:42 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home