Tuesday, April 04, 2006

I have to get this off my chest.
If memory serves you correctly, a few weeks ago I mentioned the fear I have of getting in touch with old friends if nothing more than for the sake of comparing personal and professional cock sizes. Well, I finally did just that: I was able to not only find but get in touch with a particular "old" friend that I'd known for the better part of the past twenty years. Back and forth we go, both of us e-mailing bi-weekly promises of touching base when lo and behold, last night I find her on MySpace. I decided to take the first step and get the old ball o' friendship rolling once again and here's how it starts.
Me: "Hello beautiful!"
Friend: "Hey there - I am sooo addicted to myspace aka: takes over my life. You change your pics everyday I think?? Hope your having a good one - I need to go to sleep. Your song is obnoxious by the way - I can't listen to that heavy stuff anymore - geez I'm old!!"
Me: "(((OBNOXIOUS?))) It's... it's... (((ugh!))) I love James Taylor too. Would you prefer I add that?"

Friend: This portion was lost in e-mail translation, however the gist of the conversation was that I shouldn't change my profile song to suit her. It wouldn't work well with my MySpace "image." She further asks about the "crazy bitches" I have listed as friends on MySpace, and then proceeds to tell me that I'm a perv... but in a good way.
Me: "Just for you... I changed it to James Taylor! :o) As for all of the crazy bitches... there's something about a gal with a fist full of ink that, well... I guess brings out the "perv" in me (in a good way, of course.) I dunno. Much like my music, I guess I have eclectic tastes in people. So long as they're interesting... you know what I mean? What about you? Any ink yet? Or is that considered "obnoxious?'" (((laughing)))"
The rest of the conversation is merely old fucking friendship fodder. How's this? What's up with that? Have you seen...? What about...? Did you hear...?
Drivel. Pure and simple.
So... I'm a bit kicked in the sack at this point because here is a person who hasn't seen me in over twelve years, short of a few posted pictures and a semi-honest MySpace profile (I say semi because I don't intend to announce to the entire MySpace world the complete inner workings of my life) and she has the audacity to begin verbally cross checking me?
It started with her saying the song I have posted is "obnoxious."
First of all, aside from the heaviness of the opus, it is entitled "War Profiteering Is Killing Us All." That's not "obnoxious." That's a fucking fact! Secondly, age doesn't define a person. So to chalk your comments up to your age... GROW THE FUCK UP! That's like saying you won't go to Disneyland because you're too fucking old. Get fucked you fucking fuck. Third, to refer to people I deal with as crazy bitches... where do you get off? Must be the age thing again! Fourth, to refer to ME as a "perv...," remember, you were the one who in your little questionnaire eluded to the fact that you still wanted to fuck me after all these years - sight unseen. And that makes ME a "perv?" All I said in retort was that you need not hide behind cheesy high school answers.
That said...
(((FUCK YOU!)))
Maybe this is all me. Maybe I'm being uber-sensitive? But I don't think so. Not this time. I'd made amends with my son long before this conversation took place so my emotional conditioning was good. I think last night I came to the realization that you're a twat! That like so many others, you too have changed little. The only difference is, few of us are still as judgmental as we once were. We - despite our outward appearances and or personal changes - have grown up. You on the other hand have stayed in your hovel of an existence, pouring ladies night pitchers and debating over which man is good enough to keep in your life (your words, not mine), all the while debating over whether or not to have children, flashing your degree like a plastic police badge, and wishing I were the one you should have never let get away.


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